The gift of being “stuck” together

I few days ago I woke up super early, crying, from my dream. Heartbroken. In my dream, I had to say goodbye to my daughter Astrid. 

I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I sat in the hotel room chair to connect more with what my dream was telling me. My thoughts took me back to yesterday, those hours alone with her.

It was so nice to just be with her. To experience a totally new country together, and how much I love spending time with her. She is light, calm and curious, just like me, we have a good flow together.

It feels so different to be here together than at home.

At home we’re stuck in repetition, similarity and so everything becomes a product of how it has been before. It almost feels like time stands still, yet it moves incredible fast at the same time. I often send the children out of the house, because I need to do something, and conveniently (and gratefully) they have many friends to spend time with in the neighbourhood.  I don’t want to shame myself, because the “operating system” I have created for myself is very much in favor of this behaviour.

But here we’re “stuck” together, finding out things together. And this is a blessing in disguise. I haven’t for a long time felt deeply how much it gives me to spend time with them. How much sorrow I feel that they are growing up so fast. How many times I have prioritized something pratical over them. Travelling is different. Going on an adventure is different. We’re all new at the same level. Almost like children, we’re all open to the world in a way that is really hard to do at home.

I feel deeply blessed and moved by this openness.

Thank you.